Movie Review - Behind Enemy Lines

BEHIND ENEMY LINES




BASIC PLOT
An ex marine returns to Vietnam to find his




CAST
Thomsas Ian Griffith as Mike

FACT
Maybe the worlds ugliest ginger ever shat out into the world is Courtney Gains fucking Hans from The Burbs (1989) haha it came with da frame.

THOUGHTS AN BEST BITS
Chilling playing xbox and i spot this on Netflix haha im thinking its the fucking quick silver i gotta grab me some cheese i gotta get dat cheesy action flick.

Oh damn this wasnt cheese this was mold haha we start with a token we are in Vietnam slightly jungle bridge scene not taken from any Stallone movie with James Woods lol but ok then of course partner gets shot on the evac of the mission and cut to now hes a boat captain stuggling to fix a boat haha with a bunch of bums all trying so hard to get onto the screen all at the same time and they are just so bad well maybe not all them the movies probably got the same budget as the average Uk wedding haha its so cheap and so bad. Its like someone had a concept for a script and no money they had clearly watched Missing In Action (1984) and tried to make a version of that but with to many missing parts. and even Triple name Griffith looks super skinny in the face a little Dallas Buyers Club style not sure whats going on maybe he had food poisoning the entire movie not sure but he seems off and they hardly use him hes the driving force of the movie his name and face on it but hes got as much screen time as the Lidls Wild Bunch.

Cast well its Terry fucking Silver from Karate Kid (1984) Thomas triple name and seen as hes a legit martial artist i figure im gonna get some good action and fistacuffs at least nah not really. And then i got his partner Chris Mulkey whos kinda a bitch here but his face had me like who is he hes the dude shaving Rambo in the jail cell haha hes a tv actor if ever i seen one haha. And then i get the wannabe wild bunch of Ginger Gains and Maury Sterling and maybe the worst was Adam Gifford whos black as fuck hes playing a marine whos holding an ak47 in one hand and a handgun in the other sideways haha but in using imdb to find this guys name hes went from black to white as fuck hes full on white now lol. Then to cap it off the token sister played by Hillay Mathews who seems to be a last minute pointless add to the movie for typical 90s reasons shes here no one cares she adds nothing to the movie just chews up screen time and air and of course gets grabbed by the bad guys and then not even used to change the plot they bust out before anything could happen the full stop worst full stop.

Its just awful its a special kind of tripe the directing was just ugh but at least hes just a bad director and not a first timer the movies cheap its a straight to vhs 90s flick this was never gonna dirty someones cinema screen haha this was always junk but some flicks can be good junk fun junk this was just heres some bad extras and tv actors lets go the cast is small and the lead is missing half the movie as his buddies try and go after him to help the bad guy never gets shot hes basically a computer game bad guy you think you get him the level ends and cut to some scene and hes back next wave haha. Clearly this films not made in Vietnam maybe some place else some place cheap some place you can buy food for the cast and crew for 20 bucks and have sherpas carry all the gear about for food cause this was just a new kind of bad if i seen this as a kid id still be gutted and turn it off or just go jerk off cause this film gave me nothing no fun end fight with bad guy no action scene nothing its a movie to avoid its for sure not a cult classic its just pure movie filth lol avoid this turd and keep on going save yourselves.



Best quote: " ".

89 mins long. cert . 1997


This gets 2 out of 10 on my finger scale.