THE MEG
BASIC PLOT
After escaping from what Jonas (Jason Statham) Taylor claims was giant shark now five years later Jonas must confront his fears and go back down and help another submersible sunk at the bottom of the ocean.
CAST
Jason Statham as Jonas Taylor
FACT
At one point in the movie Statham can be heard saying "keep swimming just keep swimming" this is an easter egg and line from FINDING NEMO (2003)
THOUGHTS AN BEST BITS
Ok so this was kinda fun in parts i came into this flick thinking it was gonna be shit fun flick maybe a little sharknado style but it was different still shit in parts but it had moments of fun and intrigue.
So kicking off with the cast well we have old crank himself Statham and Cliff Curtis doing his usual thing and then it sorta gets odd and drops off with Bingbing Li who yeh sounds like im a stuttering Stanley but thats her fucking name honest and shes in a few things in the last few years but i think she was in some shity Transformers age of jobby movie and then we have the Ruby Rose in here doing well fuck all shes got the typical hot girls tech thing look and has next to fuck all to do she coulda been played by a no body or her lines given to anyone really its kinda odd but any ways theres more faces in here you can recognise and they are doing a good gob but the movie is just over flowing with to many faces and actors.
So as for the movie well i enjoyed the start the rescue Spoilers bitches the rescue added some weight that was never really used again later on in the movie and then the movie becomes a little typical but then the crew of the research station of course cause no ones ever seen DEEP BLUE SEA (1999) but fine we doing this again and then the go a different way and have an actual thing to it going down to new depths of the ocean to see if anything is further down and then well shit goes tits up and some huge shark hey its on the poster comes up from the depths of the ocean and starts to munch some asians and its no biggy cause there is a billion of them so not gonna be missed really but this leaves the team to then battle and deal with a mega huge fucking shark but for me the movies flooded with faces doing nout its like what are all these fucking people here go home get jobs get to land the movie looks for excuses to keep folk around that add nothing to the movie like the literally drag lesbian rose around shes in here every nine minutes on cue for no reason its like we have her stick her in here but shes the tech person away from her fucking console on the station she has nothing to do or add like shes dead weight an like my old buddy John says bad wood... take it out put in good wood lol. Its like ok you got people but fuck me you have no use for them what so ever its got that hint of every other movie these days goes to production before they have a script and the films kinda no 100% complete or well thought out its just turns to shit. I really did enjoy the first half of the movie but after that it felt like i was sat watching pornhub for the acting lol like no one sticks around on pornhub to see the end credits and listen to the music play out or waits for after credit scenes.
So over all the movies a bit of a let down i really do blame the director here hes not made a good movie for maybe 15 years and this is the guy who gave us a double helping of Nic i wear a wig Cage in NATIONAL TREASURE (2004) so hes not bad but still this is based on a book and you have it all written down for you and then you have someone writes it a script based on the fucking book and you have what months to a year to make it good and you give me a huge cgi shark with no sing song and show me the way to go home no Statham doing a crank an use a tazer to zap his balls and jump in the water and swim at turbo speed nothing let down. Give it a watch if its free folks like i did online or wait for it to be on tv one late night your drunk or high and wanna sit back and have some bro science and think this could be real we dont know lol.
Best quote: "just keep swimming".
153 mins long. cert 12. 2018
This gets 5 out of 10 on my finger scale.
