ALIEN COVENANT
BASIC PLOT
The crew of a colony ship find a signal on a remote planet that shows more promise than their original destination.
CAST
Michael Fassbender as Walter and David
FACT
This is the second Alien film by Ridley Scott that is utter pish.
THOUGHTS AND BEST BITS
Where to fucking start ok a few weeks ago one of the trailers made the movie seem different and better than the story sounded then on top of the Ridley was talking about how he seen comments online "i hoped mine" and that he took note and wanted to make it what the fans had hoped for that an the new footage of David in a new trailer seemed good looking NAH.
Ok starting with Franco hes not in the fucking movie he just aint SPOILERS the crew wake up in hyper sleep with the ship taking damage from a power surge from a sun or some shit then his bitch face wife watches him die then goes to look at a video of him rocking climbing this pretty much looks like a deleted scene from 127 HOURS(2010) and its seconds long. Our ead who then takes over as captain looks like a fucking burns victim and the real lead of course is the bitch face wife who really is a poor mans Ripley time to change things up in the world not just hey its aliens movie female lead BORING!!!! we see it coming and its not done well at all these days. Most of the other actors playing the crew are fubar same deal as before in PROMETHEUS(2012) its cunts we dont care about just back ground and gap fillers so clearly Ridley didnt learn shit from last time and this time if possible they are more annoying cause instead of being idiots and not being able to do shit like last time with a space cobra this time they mostly panic and scream and run from nothing and kill themselves. Whats his face Kenny Rogers... Powers what ever the fuck it is i hate i just cant watch him he puts me off my tea hes a comedy guy that is just so outa place here ad just bugs me and drags me outa the movie any time i see him on screen im not in that world or place im watching his cunt face and beard.
As for the story its as dumb as the last time. You could skip the first twenty minutes or so easily its boring shit thats really not needed its basically back story for David with him and Weyland almost looks like lost footage from the last movie chucked in here. Then we have Walter who i thought was gonna be a better Bishop and steal the movie but hes kinda useless and his voice is so bugging. Then the crew wake up bla bla same old same old here a signal lets go check it out fine ok its kinda watchable here but then as soon as one guy gets infected panic and people screaming the aliens not even here yet hes not burst out just crazy panic and stupid writing as people who are ment to travel in space fucking panic and go crazy and run and blow shit up. Basically the part in the trailer when you see shit blow up is the entire movie and thats them stranded on the planet and of course dont expect much catch up or explanation from the movie or even footage its all dark alien 3 vibes while David plays explaino and the footage you see on youtube is not in the movie ?? a fucking youtube clip has footage that shows more and explains it better is out the movie and dont expect any answers from the last movie you get nothing here no footage no answers nothing pick any 5 interviews of Ridley and you find out more than from watching he tells us nothing and all the movie really is is just some people travel and stop and get fucked think of THE HILLS HAVE EYES(2006) or WRONG TURN(2003) its like that but in space its very dragged out for the start and then sort of slows down for story catch up then the entire movie and all the action you see in the trailers happens in the last thirty minutes and then you get an ending you sort of think is coming and sort of sense it but then it happens and its like fuckkkkkkk
Overall movie aint great will i will watch it again a few times just like PROMETHEUS(2012) but this is basically a mix of ALIEN(1979) AND ALIENS(1986) but done like ALIEN VS PREDATOR(2004) style with shit lines from old movies chucked in and terrible leading ladies that you dont warm to or care about and with very little action that doesnt bug the shit outa you with stupid space people just having panic attacks and blow themselves up. Watch it if yu are a fan of the movie universe but dont hope out for any kind of story continued from the last one its more like hey mind that girl in the last movie well we fucked her its got that kinda hey mind Hicks well we killed him off fuck you feel to it lol. Glad i streamed the fuck outa this one if i had paid paper dollars id be pissed.
BASIC PLOT
The crew of a colony ship find a signal on a remote planet that shows more promise than their original destination.
CAST
Michael Fassbender as Walter and David
FACT
This is the second Alien film by Ridley Scott that is utter pish.
THOUGHTS AND BEST BITS
Where to fucking start ok a few weeks ago one of the trailers made the movie seem different and better than the story sounded then on top of the Ridley was talking about how he seen comments online "i hoped mine" and that he took note and wanted to make it what the fans had hoped for that an the new footage of David in a new trailer seemed good looking NAH.
Ok starting with Franco hes not in the fucking movie he just aint SPOILERS the crew wake up in hyper sleep with the ship taking damage from a power surge from a sun or some shit then his bitch face wife watches him die then goes to look at a video of him rocking climbing this pretty much looks like a deleted scene from 127 HOURS(2010) and its seconds long. Our ead who then takes over as captain looks like a fucking burns victim and the real lead of course is the bitch face wife who really is a poor mans Ripley time to change things up in the world not just hey its aliens movie female lead BORING!!!! we see it coming and its not done well at all these days. Most of the other actors playing the crew are fubar same deal as before in PROMETHEUS(2012) its cunts we dont care about just back ground and gap fillers so clearly Ridley didnt learn shit from last time and this time if possible they are more annoying cause instead of being idiots and not being able to do shit like last time with a space cobra this time they mostly panic and scream and run from nothing and kill themselves. Whats his face Kenny Rogers... Powers what ever the fuck it is i hate i just cant watch him he puts me off my tea hes a comedy guy that is just so outa place here ad just bugs me and drags me outa the movie any time i see him on screen im not in that world or place im watching his cunt face and beard.
As for the story its as dumb as the last time. You could skip the first twenty minutes or so easily its boring shit thats really not needed its basically back story for David with him and Weyland almost looks like lost footage from the last movie chucked in here. Then we have Walter who i thought was gonna be a better Bishop and steal the movie but hes kinda useless and his voice is so bugging. Then the crew wake up bla bla same old same old here a signal lets go check it out fine ok its kinda watchable here but then as soon as one guy gets infected panic and people screaming the aliens not even here yet hes not burst out just crazy panic and stupid writing as people who are ment to travel in space fucking panic and go crazy and run and blow shit up. Basically the part in the trailer when you see shit blow up is the entire movie and thats them stranded on the planet and of course dont expect much catch up or explanation from the movie or even footage its all dark alien 3 vibes while David plays explaino and the footage you see on youtube is not in the movie ?? a fucking youtube clip has footage that shows more and explains it better is out the movie and dont expect any answers from the last movie you get nothing here no footage no answers nothing pick any 5 interviews of Ridley and you find out more than from watching he tells us nothing and all the movie really is is just some people travel and stop and get fucked think of THE HILLS HAVE EYES(2006) or WRONG TURN(2003) its like that but in space its very dragged out for the start and then sort of slows down for story catch up then the entire movie and all the action you see in the trailers happens in the last thirty minutes and then you get an ending you sort of think is coming and sort of sense it but then it happens and its like fuckkkkkkk
Overall movie aint great will i will watch it again a few times just like PROMETHEUS(2012) but this is basically a mix of ALIEN(1979) AND ALIENS(1986) but done like ALIEN VS PREDATOR(2004) style with shit lines from old movies chucked in and terrible leading ladies that you dont warm to or care about and with very little action that doesnt bug the shit outa you with stupid space people just having panic attacks and blow themselves up. Watch it if yu are a fan of the movie universe but dont hope out for any kind of story continued from the last one its more like hey mind that girl in the last movie well we fucked her its got that kinda hey mind Hicks well we killed him off fuck you feel to it lol. Glad i streamed the fuck outa this one if i had paid paper dollars id be pissed.
Best quote: "Dont let the bed bugs bite
122 mins long. cert 18. 2017
This gets 4 out of 10 on my finger scale.
