There is no hunting like the hunting of a man.
And those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it.
Never cared for anything else thereafter.
- Ernest Hemingway
And i have hunted so many of you on xbox live.
--- --- --- COD SECTION --- --- ---
I started shit on cod. On cod i rule. On cod im god.
--- STARTED ---
Shooting while prone hiding in bodies and jumping around corner and even "rushing". Fuck yeh i did. So lets break it down.
When first playing online i spotted that the bodies of the dead remain on screen for some time and didnt move were also transparent to some degree and hollow. of course being a movie geek it just hit me how many films have i seen with the good guy hiding in mud and bodies to avoid the bad guys like in the movie Behind Enemy Lines. So with this i put it into practice and lay down in a body next to some steps kept still and watched some guy walk up look around see know one EXCEPT the dead still body and turn feeling safe to snipe out the window. I got up wait the kill cam five seconds so he didnt know how or where i came from and boom kill him.
Now while playing i found that i liked the sniper rifle but one problem was movement. Not the speed or turning but when moving if i had to stop aim and fire it took longer to do with a sniper and we had no glitch scope way of cheating so i needed extra time. I couldnt ask the guy to stand still or stop firing so in order to get time i ducked lol. A move i might add i pinched from The Last Of The Mohicans. The hero ducks while getting shot at and is able to aim his shot up much the same. So i put that into practice and every time i was moving an had my sniper rifle out and came around a corner and some guy with a tompson would turn spot me id press duck and aim at the same time. Maybe nine out of ten would spray and the recoil on the gun ment the spray went up not down and with me ducked under them they would spray more in order to hit me faster lol. This gave me the fraction of a second i needed to aim and fire killing them. But thats why i did it and started it.
Jumping around corners was just a way to kill a sniper who stole my spot lol. I had been lay down sniping killed a guy and he came back a few times to get me after a while he did get me and when i walked along the road i hear a sniper bullet ping out and and the matrix style bullet whiz past my face. He was of course shooting someone else but i new he was lay in my spot so i thought hmm if i go around the corner he will only do what i done to him and kill me before i got around and aimed him up. So to fuck with him i ran back grabbed a machine gun from the ground and jumped around the corner out of his line of sight and sprayed him. I knew that when aiming down sights its impossible to see around other than what youre looking at. And even if the person did see me they would fire or possibly aim down or to the side i was coming out of and this would buy me time to kill them. I did it once an that sad guy came jumping around the corner copying me trying to get me back. He didnt lol cause i had move but thats when it hit me what ever i did that could be seen people would copy me. Even if they didnt know why i was doing it people just copy you.
As for "rushing" i didnt call it that i called it a fucking ambush seen as its a war based game. Yeh people forget that and are now to used to just sprinting like mindless cunts spraying not at all how the game started or war based at all. Now by ditching a big gun taking an uzi i could run not faster but further get an extra say five to ten feet in distance so that on a game like s&d i could run that bit further and then ambush the gamers running around the corner or catch them of guard unexpected. Its not a full game tactic and not smart or skill to keep running like a twat its to cover extra distance. To many sad fuckers run all the way around the map hoping i hey dont run into a claymore or get shot by someone else or hit by a teammates own grenade i used it for the start of the round only. Im not some retarded american that has some illusion they are invincible and cant be shot and will be just so lucky as to run around a map with no clue to gamers location and just walk up behind them all and get free kills. But once people see you do something they copy and just run head down and dont think what i did or why lol RETARDS.
--- IN GAME TACTICS ---
Now
within hours of playing online Halenbeck spotted that the dead bodies
of gamers remained for a small time period and the bodies were hollow
and you could pass through them. Instantly he thought of every war film
ever made where the hero hides in amongst dead bodies lay in the mud to
avoid getting killed. J rambo iv "i thought he was mad at first and
thought it would never work but it did and they always feel for it"
Halenbeck moved around on the burgundy and found a body lay in a perfect
spot to test his theory. He lay down and slowly moved inside the
hollow body only to spot that his rifle would stick out of the body and
give his position away he then switched to his pistol and lay perfectly
still waiting for any gamer to wonder past. And when one came along
Halenbeck kept still the gamer moved into the building looked around
spotted only a dead body then turned to face out the window and when he
did Halenbeck got up walked up behind the gamer and waited 3 seconds
before killing the gamer as he didnt want any one to see a killcam
showing where he was. Halenbeck would use the bodies to his advantage
when ever he could. Of course gamers would complain it was unfair or
cheating. And as the months went by some of the gamers even tried to
copy his in game tactics only to fail as they did not fully understand
how to use it correctly. One smaller but life saving tactic used by
Halenbeck was to switch weapons instead of reloading while near an enemy
as it was faster to switch to the handgun and fire than fully reload
and fire. And with the handgun you could run faster covering more ground
if needed during certain game modes. Of course when ever a gamer was
killed you have the chance to watch the killcam and see not only who
shot you but where. But Halenbeck was not just content with that when
ever watching the killcam he would concern himself more that rador on
the gamers screen giving you only seconds to look and locate the rest of
the gamers teammates. Mcfc tow3rs89 "it never even occurred to me back
then he was always thinking way ahead i could barely see the radar never
mind find the rest of the guys teammates with it"
--- WIN A DEATHMATCH USING ONLY THE RIFLE BUTT ? ---
Talking with Kelly84 on playing call of duty 2 with Halenbeck she said "it was ment to be just a normal deathmatch but he was kicking my ass and two other guys at the same time and after a while hes on the mic laughing his head off at us so we all started to gang up on him just trying to kill him and to add insult to injury not only is he winning the game but he never fired a bullet at any of us he was running around using the rifle butt to kill us all".
Longest kill streak with...
BLACK OPS 5 Tomahawk
CODMW 12 Pistol
BLACK OPS 6 Knife
COD 2 7 Rifle butt
COD 3 6 Sticky grenade
COD MW 20 Grenade launcher
--- REP ---
As
a result of poor gamers Halenbeck spots that his gamer rep starts to
drop from 70% preferred to 70% avoided. When Halenbeck looks into his
rep in more detail he finds that of the gamers he has beat in a fair
game have given him poor rep complaining that he is 15% aggressive 20%
unsporting and 40% quits early. This confused Halenbeck "how is beating a
person unsporting. What should i do let them win". Added with the fact
that Halenbeck prided himself on never leaving a game ever win or lose.
It would seem that not many people wanted to lose to a better gamer or
had any sense of fair play or sports manship.
--- GET 16 KILLS IN A 15 KILL DEATHMATCH ---
Talking to Mcfc tow3rs about call of duty 2 "we were all playing a deathmatch right at the end of the game halenbeck gets sixteen kills for the win ? and like thats not even possible". But turns out it is Halenbeck was on the roof of a building and had spotted two gamers running towards each other Halenbeck then dropped a grenade in between them as they stopped to shoot each other thinking the grenade would kill the survivor but they both missed. And when the grenade blowup both gamers had been standing at an identical distance from it and it killed them both at the same time. As far as we know this is the only time its ever happened.
--- INTENTIONAL TRIPLE KILL ---
Halenbeck himself on getting a triple sniper kill on call of duty 2 "i was playing for a few weeks now and by total accident i got a double kill one day and from that point on i had been playing the game always looking out for a chance to line up as many gamers as i could for the ultimate sniper kill... and one day we were all playing team deathmatch my team where all inside one building sniping out and i was moving down round the sides of the map when i spotted the enemy gamers just up ahead of me i moved closer and spotted two of them using a wall as cover trying to snipe my teammates but i didnt have a good shot on the two of them so i kept moving down the the side when i got into a better spot i seen the third enemy gamer run up to the wall and start to snipe i aimed them up and waited for my moment when all three gamers had moved into line with each other and then boom i fired and killed all three of them". When later asked what do you think of all the videos you see on youtube with gamers getting triple kills ? "haha a joke its been done no one remembers the guy who did it the nine hundred and twenty second time not to mention every one i have ever seen has been total luck just because you see a gamer in the crosshairs and then fire and find out after you hit two or three is not skill its blind luck".
--- REP ---
At
this point Halenbeck almost never looks at his rep as he new it would
only be worse and by now it was his rep had dropped to 87% avoided. Only
adding prof that gamers clearly could not take getting beat in a fair
game with no glitching and no cheating.
--- TANKS ---
When talking to Num47 about playing call of duty 3 "the two of us were playing capture the flag and there was a big fucking tank sat on the bridge looking around stopping us from getting the flag so Halenbeck takes a bike and then drives up a rock and lands on the tank.. he then jumps of and runs down under the bridge so the tank couldnt got a shot on him he then just sat waiting... i said what the hell are you doing he just laughed and said "just wait" and then bang the bike blows ups and takes the tank with it then Halenbeck just gets up runs at the flag and runs of with it".
Perfect game winning kd
COD 2 15-0 D
COD MW 23-0 S&D
COD WAW 69-0 WAR
COD MW2 25-0 S&D
COD MW2 48-0 HQ
BLACK OPS 50-0 CTF
BLACK OPS2 50-0 DOM
BLACK OPS3 17-0 CTF
COD MW remastered 25-0
--- PWND ---
Halenbeck on getting 191 kills on call of duty 3 in a game of war "i didnt even know how many kills i had i was to busy trying to drag my team to victory it was only at the end when we won that i seen how many kills i had got... the closest gamer to me had double my deaths and and only 45 kills:.
--- GAMERS ---
Now
as a result of the ranking system even though it didnt work some gamers
in Halenbecks team then start to intentionally kill him in order to
stop him "stealing kills" as they felt that because Halenbeck was able
to aim shoot and kill the enemy gamers faster he was some how taking all
their points. They no longer seen the game as a team game with
objectives but rather a chance for them to tag along into a game sit
back and get kills and points this would be the early days and first
signs of campers. In later games of war entire teams would argue and
then start killing each other because they seen Halenbeck as someone
taking their points while other teammates seen him as an asset to the
team and would try defend him saying "why the hell would you kill the
best man on the team ? that makes no sense".
A few months into the game Halenbeck started to notice that because of the new ranking system you would find greedy gamers wanting all the points and all the kills and wanting to prove they were the best player. Not only in the game but in the team. As a result of this gamers would start blowing up Halenbecks bettys in order the place their betty in that same spot. This of course resulted in Halenbeck just killing them on the spot saying "its a team game we are ment to work as a team not take out each others bettys in order to get a few more points".
A few months into the game Halenbeck started to notice that because of the new ranking system you would find greedy gamers wanting all the points and all the kills and wanting to prove they were the best player. Not only in the game but in the team. As a result of this gamers would start blowing up Halenbecks bettys in order the place their betty in that same spot. This of course resulted in Halenbeck just killing them on the spot saying "its a team game we are ment to work as a team not take out each others bettys in order to get a few more points".
--- BOOM ---
J rambo iv on talking about Halenbeck killing the entire team with a sticky grenade in a game of war "halenbeck had ran around behind the enemy team and when he walked in the door thinking he would be behind them they all respawned behind him he then jumped to the side of the door and watched them all run past counting them all to be sure and when the last one ran in the door he stepped up and chucked a sticky grenade on the gamers back... the gamer then ran into the room directly to the flag to help his team mates retake it and then boom they all got wiped out".
Most kills with a single shot
COD 2 Sniper rifle 3
COD 3 Sticky grenade 6
COD MW Grenade launcher 6
COD MW2 Rpg 6
COD MW2 Predator missile 6
--- RANKING ---
Now
this time the programers got it right a ranking system that works. And
after playing for a few weeks Halenbeck one day has a look at the
rankings and finds he is in 45.000th place on search and destroy and
with each passing day his ranking drops lower and lower. By february of
2008 Halenbeck had fully prestige up and was now 82nd in the world on
search and destroy putting him in the top 0.0006%. Ironically after
Halenbeck had fully prestige he said "what the hell was the point of
that ?".
Joes best ranking on codmw was 82 in the world.
Joes best ranking on codmw was 82 in the world.
On codwaw his ranking was 41 in the world. That puts him in the top 0.0003% in the world.
--- S&D ---
Halenbeck has won a few games of search and destroy against six gamers.
On both call of duty mw and call of duty mw 2 on more than a few occasions. And always won.
--- GAMERS ---
Now
the fact that there was a working ranking system had made some gamers
became world class douchebags when playing during games of search and
destroy. Gamers would kill you in order to be able to defuse the bomb in
order to get the extra points that would help them climb the rankings.
Because every time gamers killed a teammate they would be deducted fifty
points but it they then defused the bomb the earned one hundred points
and this drove Halenbeck insane.
--- CTF ---
Halenbeck has take on four gamers in a game of capture the flag on black Ops. And won.
--- STREAK ---
His highest killstreak was sixty nine on call of duty waw.
Most kills in a single match
COD 3 191 kills
COD WAW 86 kills
BLACK OPS 99 kills
BLACK OPS 2 88 kills
BLACK OPS 3 56 kills
--- ONE HIT ---
Kill an entire team on search and destroy with just one shot on call of duty mw
(grenade launcher over the map).
--- A DRAW ? ---
Halenbeck even managed a rare round draw on search and destroy on call of duty mw.
--- NEVER BEEN DONE ---
Halenbeck even managed to use an rpg while on last stand in call of duty mw.
------ BLACK OPS ------
50/0 while playing capture the flag.
99/3 was the most kills in a game.
75 tomahawk kills over the map from end to end. Including some nice double tomahawk kills.
--- BLACK OPS 2 ---
Oh yeh had a game were my teammates didnt randomly kill me or kill me cause i was doing well.
A 50-0 game
--- WHATS THE ODDS ---
Call in a chopper and have it fire at a gamer as he chucks c4 over a wall and the chopper shoots the c4 killing the gamer lol
Best kill streak
69 WAR COD WAW (full game plus over time)
23 S&D CODMW (full game 4 rounds)
25 S&D CODMW2 (full game 5 rounds)
48 HQ CODMW2 (full game)
50 CTF BLACK OPS (full game)
50 DOM BLACK OPS 2 (full game)
22 CTF BLACK OPS 3 (full game BUT asshole team mate killed me at 22)
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--- --- --- FIFA SECTION --- --- ---
Now for years i was never a big fifa player i used to favor Pro Evo. But i hadnt played any football game since 2007 until one day i got a request from none other than Rossildinio. Captain and manager of the TON Rossildinio asked for me to come and join his squad on fifa12. And join i did. Of course i was never gonna play as just me i played as none other than Henrik larsson. Yes the one and only celtic legend. So i joined the TON and started to play with them on pro clubs.
My pro on pro clubs....
PRO NAME: Henrik larsson.
HEIGHT: 5.10
POSITION: ST.
NATIONALITY: Scottish
SHIRT No: 7
DATE SIGNED: Oct 2011
5812 League Apps.
3163 League Goals.
2288 League Assists.
Stats Aug 2018
Pro clubs ranked in the top 1% 2012/13 2014/15 2015/16
Highest ranking was 0.04% of pro clubs out of over a million clubs.
Highest ranking was 0.04% of pro clubs out of over a million clubs.
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--- --- --- LOTR SECTION --- --- ---
Well have you ever played a game for eight and a half hours online non stop ? Halenbeck has.
3 vs him on helms deep from 10pm on through the night lol.
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--- --- --- TOP SPIN SECTION --- --- ---
So one day im on top spin playing unranked matches on single player and im put up against some random guy whos ranked no3 in the world on the game. My first thought was fuck that as hes got his pro leveled up to higher than any actual player in the game and hes no3 lol. But then i caught a glimpse of reflection in the tv screen and remembered im FUCKING JOE HALENEBCK so clicked to ready up on his ass. We played i won and sent him a nice smiley face msg after the game lol. The game lasted almost an hour and a half.
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--- --- --- ELDER SCROLLS ONLINE --- --- ---
The much needed break from killing just idiots online bring Halenbeck Eso aka Elder Scrolls Online aka One Tamriel
as of May 2019 Joe has 68.000 kills in pvp
With 10 character running
Whats the you say drop an oil pot on 12 plus guys in a castle after they take it and dont check for any Nightblades haha yeh il take that achievement and wipe them all out.
Oh is that an op emperor on the bridge holding everyone up sure il just run past and go upstairs and again drop an oil pot on his hed and watch him die in one shot.
Wait that op Sorc stacking shields is up top you say sure il use the other side of the bridge and wait for his shields to drop and take him out in one single snipe shot and kill him while everyone else online kisses the guys ass calling him great and epic yeh suck it bitch.
The much needed break from killing just idiots online bring Halenbeck Eso aka Elder Scrolls Online aka One Tamriel
as of May 2019 Joe has 68.000 kills in pvp
With 10 character running
Whats the you say drop an oil pot on 12 plus guys in a castle after they take it and dont check for any Nightblades haha yeh il take that achievement and wipe them all out.
Oh is that an op emperor on the bridge holding everyone up sure il just run past and go upstairs and again drop an oil pot on his hed and watch him die in one shot.
Wait that op Sorc stacking shields is up top you say sure il use the other side of the bridge and wait for his shields to drop and take him out in one single snipe shot and kill him while everyone else online kisses the guys ass calling him great and epic yeh suck it bitch.
And......
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