ADRIFT
BASIC PLOT
A young couple sailing get caught in a hurricane and end up adrift.
CAST
Shailene Woodley as Tami
FACT
in real life it took Tami 18 days to pump the water out and find her sextant lol and watch to navigate.
THOUGHTS AN BEST BITS
This seemed fun a survival style boat flick i secretly love Waterworld (1995) everyone loves when they head out on the boat in Jaws (1975) how could it go wrong and based on a true story some poor chic ended up on some boat in the middle of the fucking ocean. And what a bore fest i mean slow sure i expected that but i was thinking Kidman and wigboy Dead Calm (1989) and survival instead it starts with her waking up inside the boat and she fumbles around and then makes it up top to then cut back and forth with the classic shes working some place and cool kid comes into town with a new boat they fall in love cut back shes fucked in the water bla bla bla and back and forth mostly cause they had no movie mayeb limited funds or time but its smart cuts dont need to have set up just cut to what ever you want with no order or real need its not like I Am Legend (2007) that has his dream flash back that comes to and end with what happens this tries that but kinda fails and by the time it stops fucking with you the movies nearly done they made little to no effort to show struggle survival cool tricks and tips people have its just she finds him and drags him on board and then bitches about we aint gonna survive whaaa whaaa thats all she does i get it its a movie but lie to me on artistic merit lol she me something not she gets nout done then plot twist me for no reason other than shes took some Rocky v (1990) brain damage and then just fumble to the end like the dude on Robocop (1987) "help me help me" "Get away from me mannnn" haha loved that bit but thats the end she makes it bla it gave me nothing other than an inacurate story of what happened no movie touch and change to reality because they wanted to make some changes for people to enjoy it just nothing.
Well the director thank fuck aint a first timer so i could say hes poor but hes beyond poor hes made like 4 of these fucking movies all at sea and that dumb flick on mount Everest he has such a hardon for suvival shit and made like four fucking movies you would think after the first few based on the sea he would fucking nail his latest movie an just hit a home run instead gives me nothing to enjoy or feel anything for its a hot chick lost at sea and all i get is moaning like a cunt i get the feels hes some dude who gets movies funded by rich folk he knows and then gets to make them.
Ok so cast well we got Divergent (2014) girl Woodley and while i love her nipples and shit i dono im not drawn to her its not like watching say Sigourney in Alien (1979) or Gorillas In The Mist (1988) i can sit and enjoy her watch the movie progress and enjoy her nipples to but with Woodley i dono she did 4 episodes on The OC and then gets replaced thats like hmm was she a cunt an fired or left to do ? she does bit parts for a decade before landing Divergent so i cant think why she walked from a hit show but i also cant say shes awesome shes oh shit its hit me shes a supporting actress 15 years and all bit parts then lands a lead and rides the wave ex presidents style does her almost unseen trilogy and then lands bit part as Joseph triple name Levitts dime piece in Snowden (2016) shes almost like some indy girl shes bit part girl she cant hold the film or deal with it cute sure can act but shes not the lead thats why shes great in crowds cool stories cgi to help but left to just act and create shes a peeble on the beach washed up lol i been watching to much Mindhunter on Netflix lol. Now haha yeh other people are in the movie about 6 of them haha now Sam Claflin i liked hes got a look but hes a little she hes the new Michael Biehn lol hes that guy looks kinda cool never really the lead makes no difference here hes getting dunked under water and killed ops spoilers but i didnt like the silly slap a beard on him dogshit hes only 5 years older than Woodley but they are trying to play it off like hes alot older and i dont get why sure the real guy was like 10 years older but its the movie version his 5 would have done his age plays no part of the movie or story so he could have been any fucking age but ok hes got next to fuck all to do here but i still felt hes wasted. other than him its like an hand full of extras and some old couple thats it the boat has more screen time than the rest of the cast maybe even more than all of them lol.
All in muh its like when your a kid and had 5 channels to pick from last at night ona friday and catch this shit and watch cause its all you got is it gonna be a dvd fav fuck no would i even watch it again not in my lifetime and really for a real story of some woman who did this this was a shameful waste of an amazing story and adventure if you stick around for the credits you see the classic pics of the real Tami and her man damn does she look old for 24 bitch looks 44 in those images the sea is a rough life for a bitch haha no ones modeling for Armani after sailing around the globe that shit will age you like fruit. Dont bother your ass with this one let my eyes shield you and take the hit and keep on moving get to high ground and dont loo back kids.
Best quote: " ".
96 mins long. cert 12. 2018
This gets 5 out of 10 on my finger scale.
