AVENGERS ENDGAME
BASIC PLOT
The remaining Avengers try to undo what Thanos has done the world.
CAST
RDJ as Iron Man
Chris Evan as Cap
Chris Hemsworth as Thor
Scar Jo as Black Widow
FACT
The film lasts longer than Rick Astleys singing career. And has many hot chicks starring in it.
THOUGHTS AN BEST BITS
Waw great fun so many laughs and some real heart warming moments in the movie was it a great way to end the 10 years of the marvelverse maybe i dono ahh so confused its great but also uh.
Ok staring off with well fuck it Spoilers just incase i say shit here of course we kick off with what we see in the trailers well almost i mean some cgi is missing from the trailers but moving on we have poor Iron Man on his ship with blue face whats her name and its kinda cute shes learning games having fun learning to be human then we got the team sitting around the Avengers camp bored or upset and when Iron Man finally gets home with a little help from Captain No One Likes Me they are all kind aback together and part of the team head off to fuck up Thanos ? bit dumb i guess hes just fucked them up but they try cause now they got Marvel backing them up its a wasted trip and nout happens and Thor aims for the head haha and cut to 5 years later Black Widow is now taking over for Avengers/Shield running shit while making her hair ginger as you do and fucking ratatouille shows up to randomly save Ant Man and bring him back from cgi ville and hes now in some lock up with dumped stuff and not in the car park place he was when he went in so hes super conffused and then goes about looking for his kid and then the Avengers... A Team style now we got a plan he wants to drag the team back into the quantum realm and then go back in time and grab the stones before blue balls can get them all and bring them back and unclick the snap and get people back and then put them all back a split second after he took them sounds like a plan. Of course old Iron pants doesnt wana help cause hes got a kid now and Thor is now the Big Lebowski lol super fat long hair and beard omg so much fun oh and now it is Professor Hulk its here and official folks he wont hulk out our rage and wreck the place now hes chilled out hulky and after some chit chat fine they all team back up the original Avengers plus blue face and Warmachine and .. <<< that says Ant Man any ways they go into the new time travel quantum real and fly like eagles back in time to go grab shit.
Any ways it brings them back in time to when Avengers finally became a team during the fight in New York and then we have all sorts of fun cameos and all the old names back in while some of them go back to when Star Munch was dancing before he grabs one of the stones and we also have Hawkeye and Black Widow go to collect the soul stone and well thats gonna cause problems for all those Black Widow movie plans cause she gets fucking slam dunked lol i mean wtf shes the eye candy of the universe and you ditch her i dono if future films bring her back or if maybe she gets a stand alone movie set in the past but the bitch be dead son. So onwards they do it with some troubles they make it back and... well it goes tits up lets say that and Thanos comes to fuck things up. Here comes the boom and the big bad fight for earth and everyone is back to fight together in the super fight for earth while all the woman team up to save Spidy at one point was a big cringy like yeh i get it woman but hey great fun gets a bit mental to see it all and keep up with a huge battle and so many faces i felt after did i even see Warmachine at all during this thing or most of the girls really maybe to many faces or just to much cut out the movie i dono great fun and an ending you start to see coming and dread it watch it in the end Iron Man still saves us all and die yup i said it fuck you marvelverse i wanted him to live kill blackwings or Olsen tits anyone other than him he coulda done cameos for 10 more years for mins at a time helping SpiderMan and shit but ahh and of course if hes gone Caps gonna not return the stones and come back of course he stays in the past to have his dance and i kinda liked this part but then its like no i wont have him back now and then he hands the shield to fucking Falcon are you kidding me hes a pleb hes a poor mans Eddie Murphy if Eddie wasnt funny and could barely act i mean come on give it to the Winter Soldier at least come uhh my girls gone and Caps gone and Iron Mans gone sure no one cares Vision is dead but like old Gamora is gone to Black Widow musta landed on her face but now young Gamora is alive on earth but she hates Star Munch.
Now a few time travelly things are hitting me now im home sat down coming back down of my water syrup drink and salted popcorn that turned my lips into Roy Scheiders saddle bag face in Jaws II (1978) spoilers lol Blue face Nebula blasts younger Nebula in the chest to save younger Gamora so why doesnt she Marty Mcfly and vanish slowly as she cant be in the future if she kills herself in the past lol and also Thor grabs his hammer back in Thor The Dark World (2013) and takes it back to the future to use so when he needs it to go fight malekith and see his mother die old Thor wont have the hammer its gone lol and then Cap grabs some Pim juice as the rules are he only has enough Pim juice to power the suit to go back in time once and when things get fucked up he goes back to the 70s and grabs more juice to fix things and get back but he only needed 2 little viles of Pim juice BUT he grabs 4 ? why 4 he needs just 2 for him and Stark whats the other 2 for ? future films ? i dono but he grabs more than he needs but now that they kill Thanos in the future after he time travels then no one will in the past at least die on any other planet New York wont happen Thors people wont get car jacket in space but for these folks and the time line folks are dead
Going forward honestly i kinda dont give a fuck now lol. You gave me back Olsen tits and i do love her boobs in that red outfit but uh with her character Sam can suck it we got Warmachine sure but no Stark whos gonna make new tech suits and so on ? and update shit i wana see Guardians as Thor is now on the ship with them for now at least but Zoe im sure wont be as shes off filming Avatar 2-39 so shes kinda busy dont care about Ant Man really its like Wolverine... hes gotta be in the Xmen shit or we dont care you just dumped Cap and Iron Man in one go i dont see how Phase 4 or what ever we are at now goes well lol.
Ok so directing wise pretty good pretty fun sure its bit long maybe i see trials in court shorter than this but it didnt feel to long and had lots of heart and tear jerking moments and sure id have liked to have jacked Thor back but ok hes kinda hopeless at the end and Cap waw they have him finally worthy and picks up the hammer and goes after Thanos with it yesss great scene could hear the cow next to me "yes get him son omg hes picked it up" aye well done you can say what you see bitch shut it. Could they have done much else or change a few things em hard to say its really one big movie part one and two and its just the end to a huge story and as a two parter its great fun maybe some more action in parts rather than jokes as much im still gonna need more time think this part over and see what hits me later.
Moving on cast well its most of our loved faces RDJ gives a cracking performance at the start not like anything we have seen as hes the defeated warrior and he acts different to Cap its great a feel and tone thats new and as a dad its great fun that hes now got a kid and can do different shit everyone else is the same kinda nout much changes other than a few faces tear up near the start as they struggle to move on but nothing was odd or out of place the tone the feel the style from the entire cast wast great Hemsworth just knocks it out the park as Lebowski Thor. It really was fun to see all the cast members back for cameos Portman Russo Grillo Redford fucking Loki lol even Stan casper the friendly ghost Lee pops up Tilda Swinto back with her shaved head or a bald cap not sure but god it was good the actors came back for what they did it added to a feel and heart of a movie universe not just hey we go back in time but see nout i really cant bitch about the great cast and people who came back at all flawless really.
All in great fun sure at a cinema its not your sofa or bed you cant chill as much but this was fun to see at the cinema if you dont stream an illegal copy of just one movie this year lol make it this and go enjoy a once in a life time movie cause after this i have no clue whos gonna be the leads and cast of the next "Avengers" movies cause they are all gone now really no one cares about the dregs left over do i love the chant sure ebombay wakanda forever but i dont care about Catwoman running around in cgi Africa lol i just dont id have loved a Black Widow movie with a Cap cameo but thats gone tits up now lol and Spider Man is on his way sure and well they can take Captain Marvel and ram her i mean hard an dry what was the point to her character and the rush of we need her film between the films to introduce her to the world and then she helps nahhhh she does nout really saves Iron Man at the start but a two seconds rewrite and boom hes saved by (insert name here) she takes out a ship at the end cause it seems the earth has no jets or army or defense what so ever ? but ok she kills a shipand then fights Thanos and still gets her arse handed to her so really you could haev rammed that shit movie and her and gave me Rocket Raccoon origins movie instead. But hey was this fun sure will i get it on blu ray fuck yeh and watch it over and over sure will was it as good as the build up nah but still so good and well enjoyed go take the kids to see it and if you dont have any find some and take them go see this movie and enjoy it on the big screen. Best movie of the year ehh lets hold off on that till i see some more but its gotta be up there.
Best quote: "I get emails from a raccoon".
181 mins long. cert 12. 2019
This gets 8 out of 10 on my finger scale.
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