OCEANS 8
BASIC PLOT
Debbie (Sandra Bullock) Ocean gets out of jail only to meet back up with her old partner and they set about getting a group together to rob a set of diamonds.
CAST
Sandra Bullock as Debbie Ocean
Cate Blanchett as Lou
FACT
The film cost over 70 million to make so making 294 million dollars word wide at the box office making it a bomb at the box office as the cinemas them selves get 40% and the movie easily had 50 plus million spend on advertising for it as these days they spend an easy 100 million in 2014 The Amazing Spider-Man (2004) spend a record 190 million on advertising.
THOUGHTS AN BEST BITS
Em so how to i kick this off ok so lets do a little recap spoilers style so we have Sandy playing Danny Oceans hot sister who is also a criminal and she gets outs jail its kinda funny as she goes about getting some shit then hooks up with her old friend played by Cate and she tells her about a necklace she wants to rob from some place now this is ok its not ground breaking right its an oceans film they gonna rob some shit but this one was odd there was something about the robbery that was fucking odd it wasnt like the others were we have say Danny rob the guy whos stole his girl and its kinda a revenge thing from some millionaire guy who owns casinos this was just rob a place and yoink some shit so its not fun its basically heat without the guns ? no action no deaths no fights and terrible acting and shit its ahh ok lets get into it.
Cast wise we got Sandy B aka Lenina Huxley god damn was she hot an i say was cause for me as a sexy woman and sort of sexy leading lady she kinda lost it for me once i seen The Heat (2013) shes just getting the old lady gobble gobble turkey neck and once its there you no longer that hot 28 year old sex symbol dont get me wrong bitch is now 54 yehhhh forgot that didnt you but now im watching a woman nearly my mothers age with gobble neck trying to be cool and sexy and the lead and its like nah this movie and cast are way to late shes good acting wise well ok but its nothing fun or special shes adding here its pure just show up and go. Now Cate is well 49 and looks 50 plus and just felt like a wet towel she constantly seems odd she just didnt get it the role or the character i dono whats misisng but its fucking missing she was god awful and id say phones it in but she coulda just skyped that shit better it was poor from her and im a fan i have enjoyed her in many movie over the years and love her voice in the intro of Lord Of The Rings shes a great actress but this from her was bad and i mean maybe the worst performance shes given in many decades. As for the rest of the cast fuck me starting with Hella triple name Carter just looking like General Leia just uhh so bad then we got hottie mc cant act Rihanna fuck me shes so bad i mean shes just so talentless when it comes to acting shes baaaaaad the rest of them kinda did enough to get a pass but the character and way the played it was just so bad overall.
Now i dont wanna be #metoo here cause im bashing woman but its a fucking oceans sequel this aint some like spin off shit and years later someone picks up the rights this is a few years after the George and Brad movies and shes playing Georges sister ? so its like we gonna compare shit here George was just 40 as the movie came out so kinda 39 on set and Brad was 37 and they were so much more fun and the banter with them seems like guys chilling busting balls having fun and the girls had none of this this movie is a decade to late its piss poor its directing by the guy who gave us fucking Seabiscuit (2003) and Free State Of Jones (2016) so its no fucking wonders its shit it had no direction this was a pure copy cat thought from the female ghost busters and lets make the female version of oceans cause fuck me its lacking so much sure it had some little fun moments but ok the Indian chick they bring in to help with the diamonds.. guess what she does with them em sits in a bog and cuts a necklace up im not fucking kidding you so thats her helping so not really needed then of course its the new disney movie making world got out token Indian bring in the token Asian cue the pick pocket now keep in mind this is the Matt Damon and shes just never gonna hold a candle to him sure shes kinda funny but its the typical funny and then in comes could i be more typical Rihanna and shes playing the black girl whos to cool to talk for the most part as she sounds funny and of course sucks and then has a giant fucking fruit basket of a hat on on cause shes jamacan man ireee ireee fuck me its just bugging like America is like 73% white with like 12% black and 4% Asian and an old British lady as well i mean how the fuck did we some how manage to get a perfect mix here one of everyone haha fuck off hollywood i want the best acrtesses not your make the twats happy mix fucking no way these fuckers are the best females who wanted to be in this movie no way but hey ok we got them all trying to rob a a necklace at some fancy party but wait the necklace is not at the party the have Carter as an old designer in debt go to some fancy vault place and try and convince them to loan the necklace out to some bitchy actress for the event that actress is of course played by Hathaway and shes kinda fun for the most part but shes not part of the 8 so its oceans 7 for the entire movie and stupid then at the end of course woman aint stupid shes onto them plotting and they cut her in and shes part of the game yawwwwwwn fuck you i mean come on but ok fine so back to this stupid necklace they want thats not at the party and they get Carter to ask for it and then dunk it ok whats her face for the night and then they go about robbing it and bla bla oh there is some other chick in here shes... does something that well is just not needed mean time the tech expert only really moves a fucking camera about 2 inches so coulda walked in and pushed it by hand lol so not needed then the diamond expert cuts it up in a bog fuck me and then hands it off to the girls who all walk out the door dressed up nice n sexy in gowns.... with our two leads looking old as fuck and skinny and fuck me was Cates outfit just ugly as fuck. Wait dont let me forget they kill Danny Ocean yeh hes dead just fyi and then they do the old switcharoo and have the little guy from oceans come in to help rob all the other necklaces that are at the event they forget to mention about the entire movie lol fuck me just maybe the worst movie i seen this year and i watched Star Wars.
Can chicks do it better no sorry fuck you your shorter weigh less cant fight some bad guy cant hold a gun properly or run without looking like a crack head yeh i mean ScarJo in Avengers movies go watch her bitch cant run at all its bad hate bendy arm girls in movies holding guns or just fucking it up and sorry these girls are just a decade to late with this movie all the kings soldiers and all the kings men aint putting this shit together. Salt (2010) Ghosbusters (2016) The Next Karate Kid (1994) sorry girls you come in second... like always lol. Terrible movie and a complete shit fest but look on the bright side it probably cost 30% less than if it was a male led movie cause you no they get fake news more money than woman lol fuck you every body good night.
Best quote: "".
110 mins long. cert 12. 2018
This gets 3 out of 10 on my finger scale.
